Mom praised for why she talks about her kids behind their backs
2025-08-12
Clever Parenting Hack: Boosting Kids' Confidence with Secret Praise
A savvy mom has shared a unique parenting strategy that's capturing the attention of fellow parents. By intentionally praising her kids behind their backs, she's discovered a clever way to build their confidence and send them to bed with a smile.
Unleash the Power of Positive Reinforcement
The Confidence-Boosting Technique
Ellie Grey, a TikTok influencer known as @iamelliegrey, has revealed her ingenious parenting hack. After tucking her kids in or asking them to complete their nightly routines, Grey pretends to have a conversation with someone else, meticulously praising her children's best qualities. "She was amazing today, she was so helpful, she was really kind... I had a great day with her," Grey shares in her viral video. Unbeknownst to her kids, who think they're eavesdropping on a private conversation, Grey's carefully chosen words are designed to leave them feeling uplifted and appreciated before the day ends.
The Positive Impact
Grey has observed her children's delighted reactions, with the kids peeking through the cracks of the door and beaming with joy upon overhearing the compliments. "It sends them to bed basically with really good positive feelings in their body," the mom explains.
The Power of Timely Praise
Research dating back to the 1980s has shown that the context in which praise is given can significantly impact its effectiveness. A study published in the Review of Educational Research found that praise is more likely to be impactful when it is timely and relevant to the situation.Grey's technique perfectly aligns with this finding, as she strategically delivers her praise at a moment when her children are most receptive to it - just before they drift off to sleep, with their minds still fresh from the day's activities.
Spreading the Positivity
Since Grey's video was posted on June 22, it has garnered over 242,000 views and hundreds of comments from fellow parents eager to try out this confidence-boosting strategy. Many users have shared their own versions of the technique, such as "whispering" compliments to a child's stuffed animal while they brush their teeth.One user even commented that this method brought them "happy tears," recalling how their mother-in-law had used a similar approach when they were young, making them feel valued and appreciated.
Expanding the Repertoire
In her video, Grey also shared some additional phrases parents can use when seemingly talking about their kids, such as "I've had such a great day with her," "He's amazing company to be with," and "She is so pleasant to be around." These variations can help parents tailor the technique to their unique family dynamics and communication styles.By openly sharing her parenting hack, Ellie Grey has sparked a wave of positivity and inspired other caregivers to embrace the power of strategic praise. This simple yet effective strategy is a testament to the profound impact that a few kind words can have on a child's self-esteem and well-being.